touchofgenius | accidental video | backdated to last night

Entry tags:

let's be bad guys

accidental video | backdated to last night

[The video switches on, showing a darkened bedroom, some moonlight filtering in through a window.

Slowly, very, very slowly, Birkin eases himself out of his bed. The bed squeaks slightly, just once, before Birkin has both feet planted on the floor. Mission successful, boyfriend still asleep. He puts on some clothes, quietly, quickly, looking a lot less like the bumbling idiot the community's come to know and a lot more efficient and sure of his movements.

He moves over to a dresser on the opposite wall, pulling something out of it, before creeping over to the door, easing it open, and blowing Stein a kiss before creeping out of the room.

If anyone's willing to actually continue watching the feed for the next few hours of footage, they'll get to see Birkin creep back in, drenched with sweat and a a bit of blood splattered on his shirt, return a pistol to the dresser, and slowly ease himself back into bed before the video turns off.]

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Just a bit.

...To both those questions, actually. [He chuckles a few times, trying to not wince so much when Stein pats the cut. Really, it's not that deep or that big, and already the blood's started to clot, so Birkin's not even being all that flippant when he says it just hurt him a bit.] You shoulda seen me, though, you probably would have been pretty impressed.

[He pauses at the feeling of wet blood and sits up, flicking on the light.]

Tell me about it, then. While I stitch you up. [He reaches over, grabbing a suture kit out of the bedside table - important sexual accessory in this household - and turns back to Birkin]

[Birkin slips his shirt off without a fight - the thing was a bloody mess anyway, despite the relatively minor injury - and lays back flat, staring up at the ceiling. No matter how many times he's been through this song and dance, he never got used to how getting stitches actually looked if he was watching too closely.]

Well, the short version is I went out for a walk, heard some woman screaming, followed the sound, ran into something with big claws and bigger teeth, and I learned that when I'm running for my life, I'm very good at parkour and my aim with a gun gets a lot better.

[He laughs a bit, injecting Birkin with a numbing agent and getting to work stitching up the wound]

Well, well, how uncharacteristically heroic of you. I must be rubbing off on you more than I thought.

I guess stupid, daring heroics must be an STD. Never would have guessed that in a million years. [Birkin's just not going to mention that he didn't manage to save that woman, not that he was really trying to. Nor is he going to mention that he only managed to get away from the thing chasing him by getting it to run after someone else. Stein'll probably get the bad news at work anyway. Either way, the slightly proud grin on his face doesn't falter for an instant.]

If you're not careful I might just decide to try and become this universe's Batman.

[Stein laughs and rolls his eyes] You're not technically rich or depressing enough to be Batman. Besides, I'm Batman.

[He continues to stitch] How's the woman?

I used to be rich and depressing enough, though. That's got to count for something. And you're more Superman or something; you actually have cool powers and stuff. Whereas I... Really don't.

[Birkin bites his bottom lip, frowning slightly.] To be honest, I don't really know. She was pretty badly injured [meaning dead] when I first got there, and then I didn't think to go back and look for her. I probably wouldn't have even managed to remember what particular alley I was wandering down, anyway. [That part was mostly true; it took him too damn long to find what remained of her, in Birkin's opinion, and that was mostly why he was gone for so long.] I hope she made it home okay.

Superman? [He snorts faintly, putting the last couple of stitches in] I might have the rugged good looks and square jaw, but I'm not nearly enough of a douche to be him.

[He frowns faintly as Birkin completes the story] I hope so, too.

You're right, you're much sweeter than he is. [Once Birkin's stitches are in place he sits up, slowly to not tear them or anything like that, and plants a quick kiss on Stein's lips.] Thanks for patching me back up.

But, you know, for future reference, you really don't have to wait up for me.

[He returns the kiss, scrubbing his bloody fingers through Birkin's hair]

How could I sleep, knowing you were probably getting yourself into a stupid amount of trouble doing something ridiculous?

And yet, you just decided to stay at home waiting for me. [He nuzzles into Stein's hand, smiling.] What would you have done with yourself if I got killed?

If you hadn't come soon, I'd have gone looking, but it's hard to find your soul. It's just a normal human's, so it doesn't show up easily against all the others.

[He rubs Birkin's cheek] I'd probably have murdered a lot of people, to start with.

That's actually kind of a comforting thought. It makes me feel a little less like I'm being stalked all the time if I blend into a crowd like that.

But in the interest of not making you go on a killing spree, I'll be more careful in the future. ...Though seeing you completely lose it over me is very sweet of you to say.

You'd better. [He pokes Birkin in the forehead] Because if you weren't actually dead, the first one I'd be coming after once I was done, would be you!

[The right side of Birkin's face twitches, and he lets out a nervous laugh.] Note to self, then, no faking my own death... Heheheeeh...

But you wouldn't really kill me! I know you. Hell, I could probably get away with murder in this town because youuuuuu [He pokes Stein in the forehead right back, smiling brightly] love me too much.

Oh, I don't think so! [Brightly] I might need to lock you up.

I'm pretty sure you'd miss me if you did that, even if it was just our basement you locked me in. Unless you were figuring you'd get conjugal visits or something. [Birkin laughs, though there is a slight note of panic on his face even as he giggles brightly. How the hell is he supposed to conduct illegal experiments if he's trapped in the house? Maybe he should teach himself how to pick locks. Just in case.]

I think I could cope. [He drapes his arm over Birkin and lowers his head] Anyway, you aren't planning on doing anything to deserve that.

Of course not! [Though occasionally Birkin decides that thinking's for the morning after, and while he's pretty sure he hasn't crossed any lines in his soul research - he was just doing a bit of looking and poking, and that certainly couldn't be outlawed, right? - it does worry him just a bit.

...Well maybe more than a bit. It worries him enough that he wants to make sure he doesn't have to move this project off-world in the future, at any rate.] I remember that virus where I turned into a weapon all too well to have any desire to start eating souls. And really that's the only thing that would cause too much of a fuss, right?

I don't know, a serious zombie outbreak might raise a few eyebrows.

[He yawns and sits up, pulling off his labcoat and glasses again. It appears he doesn't have to go out, after all, so clothing is overrated]

[Birkin wraps his arms around Stein, running his fingers through the other man's hair.] Well, then it's pretty lucky the only viral research I'm doing at the moment is either community viruses, or the G-Virus; no risk of zombies outbreaks. At least none caused by me.

Besides, after that little bank robbery incident, I wouldn't want to do something like that again and get you into any kind of serious trouble.

[He nods, reassured, and closes his eyes]

I'm sure you wouldn't want to get yourself into trouble, either.

Nah, I've given up my life of crime. [Birkin snuggles against Stein's shoulder happily.]

G'night Franken~

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accidental video | backdated to last night

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