touchofgenius | (no subject)

I cannot even begin to describe to you people how utterly disturbing it is to wake up in the morning and see a commercial for a video game based on your life. People are profiting from my life - really I should be saying "my death", but that just takes this to a whole new morbid level that I don't even want to get into.

Whoever the hell these Capcom people are need to knock it the fuck off before I find a way to accuse them for my murder and/or sue them for mental distress. I mean, hell, I'd really like to enjoy drinking my coffee and watching the movin' pi'ture box without having to relive the horrible memories of that time I got shot to death and destroyed an entire city, if that's a-okay with these people. Maybe I'd be able to make a case for neglect considering they are kind of like my parents or something, I guess? I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. Actually, speaking of. Edgeworth, Phoenix, I've got a really funny story to tell you guys some time.

Does anyone else actually live in a world where they are knowingly fictional? Because it's hard. It's hard and nobody understands.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If that story has anything to do with libelous derivative works produced by natives of the world(s) where we're fictional then you're about three and a half years too late.

It's related to that.

But it has more to do with the fact that the games your life is based on is made by the same guys as my games. Congrats, I guess we're cousins.

My life isn't based on anything, and aside from my sister I don't have any other family, biological or otherwise. What are you going on about?

[Aaaand here's Birkin holding up a box entitled Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. And there's your beautiful face on the box, Edgie! How nice. Birkin points to the lower corner, where the word CAPCOM is written in its obnoxious yellow and blue theme. In his other hand, he holds up a box with a zombie on it, Resident Evil 2 taking up the majority of the art. Once again, in the corner, he points a finger to the CAPCOM down in the corner.]

Ta-da! We may not be from the same universe, but we, my friend, were made by the same people. If you would like to join me in storming their home office, then by all means.

[wrinkles his nose indignantly.] I was made by my parents. These... [hesitates over the name, pronouncing it as a question] Capcom? people may be capitalizing on my likeness somehow, but that's as far as our relationship goes.

[After a beat he leans in and squints at the screen.] ...Is that a zombie on your box?

Creative property, man, same as me. You have parents, sure, but you were really just put through a storyboarding process. You already knew there was game about you, why is it such a step to believe that our games were made by the same people?

And yeah, it's a zombie. I'm a little disappointed I'm not on the box, frankly, but it was made in the 90s before they knew how awesome and popular I was going to be. [Yup, he's delusional ._.]

It's not. In fact, that aspect of it doesn't surprise me as much as it should. I no longer have to question the sanity of whoever's been misappropriating my life. As for being creative property... [he mulls it over a moment.] Proving that we aren't would obviously be difficult, if not impossible, but their rights should only be enforceable if you went to their world and attempted to profit from your identity as a character from the game. It's not as if they could stop you from being you.

[He smirks, amused in spite of himself.] I suspect a zombie is going to sell more copies of a game than any mere human, no matter how popular or 'awesome' he may be. I take it the goal of 'Resident Evil' is killing them in increasingly violent ways?

So I'd only have a case if they tried to, like, turn me into a street performer or something like that? I'll let you know if something ever comes up. Granted, I think if we showed up in a court of law with the guys who made these games, their heads would just pop off.

[Birkin chuckles] Joke's on you, Edgeworth. I wasn't even human in the timeframe this game took place.

[Chin in his hand. he seems to be giving the matter serious consideration, probably beyond the level it actually warrants.] I doubt their heads would pop off; not immediately, at least. Before that happened you'd have to prove to them beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are you and not just a remarkably convincing fan pretending to be you. Given you have no records on their world to prove your identity one way or the other and your claim would be patently ridiculous by any sane person's standards, it seems unlikely that your efforts could succeed. If you failed, the supposed 'creators' could continue to believe you were either a charlatan or mentally unbalanced fanatic...either of which would still fit comfortably into their perceptions of the nature of the universe, no nervous breakdowns needed.

[He blinks, frowns warily at him.] ...What were you?

Ouch, swing and a miss... Though I guess I could give them a personal demonstration of my viruses. That might make them believe me, or at the very least, be scared of me.

[Birkin shrugs, man has reminiscing on this failed venture sure gotten uninteresting...] I was what was known as G. You've got YouTube in your world right? Just look it up there; easier than trying to explain it.

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Please tell me he started playing the AA series.

[video] Well, he's gotta do something during his lunch breaks

[video] Wonderful way to pass the time~

[video] No kidding XD

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