(no subject)

[touchofgenius]

"Hello. You have reached the phone of Dr. William Birkin. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is to scream at me for something, press 1... And then shove your phone up your ass. Everyone else, go ahead and leave a message."

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Comments

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

[Sigh.] You're impossible.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

And you love me for it.

All joking aside, though. Congrats on the new boyfriend.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

Thank you. I really don't want to mess this up.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

You won't mess this up. I have full faith in you!

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

Thank you so much.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

So~ What's he like? I bet he's not nearly as scary as my boyfriend.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

He's one of those noble hero types - well, not really 'types,' considering - and he's kind to everyone else, always helpful. He needs a self-esteem boost and he's a bit of a doormat to his Master.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Well you certainly know how to give a good self-esteem boost. It's funny, between the thief and me, I never expected you to end up with a "noble hero" type.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

My other actual boyfriend was a priest's son. I'm not always with the bad boys.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

The monk's son and the priest's son... Now that's what I call religious tolerance. Now I kinda feel bad that I've never really branched out of the scientist genre of people.

...Well okay, I had Vanessa, but let's be honest, that was enough of a disaster to not even warrant mentioning.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

Right. Let's move on from there and discuss how this is going to go well.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Yeah, good plan.

Well there's really nothing to be worried about considering he sounds nice?

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

He is nice. I just don't want to do anything stupid.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

What do you honestly think you're going to do?

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

...Move too fast?

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Alright, that's fair. But it has a very simple solution! Don't move so fast.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

I'll try my best.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Just masturbate a lot.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

William!

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

What? It's true! If you don't want to rush things with the guy, you need a way to keep the sexual frustration down! Duh.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

You don't have to say it so bluntly...

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Being coy has done me no favors in life.

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

It's embarrassing to hear it nonetheless.

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Would it be any less embarrassing for me to say "Go forth and jack off?"

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

No.