(no subject)

[touchofgenius]

"Hello. You have reached the phone of Dr. William Birkin. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is to scream at me for something, press 1... And then shove your phone up your ass. Everyone else, go ahead and leave a message."

voice|text|email|internet|picture|video

Comments

[TFLN virus message]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You are a really good kisser. Why hadn't I kissed you yet?

[TFLN virus message]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Thiiink its got somthing to do with the whole dating other people thing

[det-goofball.livejournal.com]

doac dhd we actua5y

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

stop speaking japinese at me

[breakhisknees.livejournal.com]

william you popped my gay grope cherry

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Just imagine what that mans to me. no really it means alot

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

your name repels people; i was being advanced on a by a fool and i told them my name was william birkin and suddenly he magically became too disgusted to talk to me

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

i dunnnno man im gettin so much more ass than you

3 hours later

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

oh a pity for me

its because i have a panther chewing on raw meat

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

yo should ;prbably get that chekced out or somthin

[oceanicbutterfly]

sorry thought you were someone else

a few minutes later

[oceanicbutterfly]

why are you the only birkin in my contacts

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

why'd you have the otehers in your contacts?

one of ems dead nd the other's TWELVE you siko

[dreamsonaplane.livejournal.com]

who are you and why do you keep texting this number

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

i unno. whore you and why did you text me back?

[TFLN]

[clockmaster.livejournal.com]

Akako..marry me.

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

sry ubt i've already promised myself to like four other dudes

[wearecowboys.livejournal.com]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

your welcome

whatd we do last night?

text.

[breakhisknees.livejournal.com]

william what will it take for you to stop hitting on me

text.

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Fucking me?

[Text]

[vinodejerez.livejournal.com]

I don't want to eat souls. I want you to know this right now so if it ever happens, you'll know it wasn't my idea.

[Text]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

...The fuck is going on over there?!

[Text]

[vinodejerez.livejournal.com]

Ms. Kasumi wants to talk to you.

[Text]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Uh. About what?

[Call]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Congratulations, William. You are apparently powerful enough to influence the community itself.

Did it ever strike you as strange that Tyki never replied to that post?

[Call]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

...You're kidding.

[Text]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

A text to six people that I truly care for. Perhaps it's a silly chain letter, but I hope it makes you smile.

[Text]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Where's the part about a ghost showing up and eating your whole family? C'mon if you're going to do a chain letter, do it right!

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

I got myself a boyfriend by anonymously asking for help dealing with how to stop flirting with another man. -not you.

What is my love life even?

Re: [Voice]

[touchofgenius]

Does this mean our torrid love affair is over?

[Voice]

[unknownrival]

Hi.

[Voice]

[touchofgenius]

...You've got a lot of nerve...

[not here because it is a flower]

[unknownrival]

[How did this group of plane tree flowers get on your doorstep, Birkin? There's a note with Birkin's name on it that gives the meaning: 'genius'. It's not signed, but maybe the handwriting is familiar.]